Friday, July 13, 2007

Elizabeth turns 2 months old.

Already I'm wondering where the heck the time went. She looks so big to me already. And soooo much like Lucas. I'm in love, that's one thing I know for sure.

I hate to say it, because I know that it's going to make me sound like a bad mom. Like I'm favoring one child over another. But there is something very different with Elizabeth, my last child, my daughter. I can't put my finger on it though.

I tried talking to Chuck about it, but he told me that guys just don't think that way. I wonder if it's because I *know* for certain that this is my last child. I wonder if it's because this is the first time that I haven't suffered from PPD. I wonder if it's because she's my *daughter* and there's already a special mom/daughter bond. I wonder if its because I have exclusively breastfed from day one. I wonder if it isn't the dynamic of our family now; seeing my boys as big brothers. Maybe it's a combination of all those things. It doesn't make me love her anymore than my boys. It's just I've enjoyed her more. I've enjoyed this infancy stage infinitely more. I've enjoyed breastfeeding, not more, just enjoyed it!

Like I said earlier, it's just hard to put my finger on. So maybe I'll quit trying. Maybe instead of trying to figure out my motivations, I'll just enjoy Elizabeth. And her brothers. And her daddy.

My family.

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