Why?
Because I believe there are a lot of people out there that have issues regarding their sexuality (especially women) or with having sex in general and suffer in silence. I did until I met my husband who helped me to realize that it’s okay to be ME. He helped me to understand and accept myself. I know there are a lot of women out there that felt like I did in my late teens/early twenties who don’t have the support or understanding. Some of the women are even much older than I was when I started to embrace my inner sexpot. And I want to help more women find that for themselves.
So, I’d been thinking and planning and wondering about what my first post would be for Hump Day….when I got an email from Pure Romance corporate that Pure Romance was featured on the Tyra Banks show. The show was entitled “Married Virgins”. I seriously stopped and re-read it, thinking I’d read it wrong.
I knew that there were women out there that had pain and extreme uncomfortableness during sex, but was unaware of a disorder called vaginismus. (See, I still have TONS to learn!) I figured if I was unaware it’s a good chance that others are as well and if you’ve found my blog and have this condition, I hope to help you a bit.
So, what exactly is vaginismus? Basically it is involuntary muscle spasms of the pelvic muscles surrounding the vagina. It’s not as if the woman is willing the contractions to happen; in fact, she may not even know that they are occurring until there is painful intercourse. According to vaginismus.com, this disorder is the most common cause of women remaining virgins through relationships.
The good news is that vaginismus is highly treatable. And that’s where the video from Dr. Debby Herbenick (author of Because It Feels Good: A Woman’s Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction) on they Tyra show comes into play. In this video she talks about how vaginal dialators can help with vaginismus; and help women with this disorder to experience and enjoy sex, maybe for the first time. Dr. Debby worked closely with Pure Romance to develop their line of vaginal dialators.
How are vaginal dialators used to treat vaginismus? So glad you asked! The pelvic floor muscles are just like any other muscles and need to be used, stretched and exercised in order to be at their tip-top shape. Vaginal dialators are used to gently stretch those muscles and the vaginal tissue.
As with any exercise, you want to consult with your dr. before starting; however, it’s even more important when dealing with vaginismus. First, you want to make sure that you have a correct diagnoses and second, you’ll need to know what kind of regimen you should be following. Please see your dr. and discuss your concerns with him/her!! (I am in no way shape or form a medical professional!)
The most important things to remember when using…and choosing…a vaginal dialator set is:
*RELAX! Take a hot bath, drink a glass of wine, read a book…do whatever you need to do to relax.
*Get comfortable. Whether you’re most comfortable doing this in the shower/bath, in your bedroom or the living room couch, choose that spot.
*Find the best position for you. Most women find that lying on their back works the best.
*Use a quality water-based lubricant.
*Soft is good. When looking for a dialator set, you want to make sure that you get a soft and smooth set (with no ridges from the manufacturing molds!) that will be easy to clean and comes in graduated sizes. The Pure Romance set comes with six different sizes…no need to buy another set!
If you have a partner with this disorder, please understand that it is not a matter of wanting to have sex, but more a matter of a physical condition not allowing it to happen. There are other ways to have an intimate fulfilling relationship without penetration; let the dialators and Dr’s do their job so that you can experience it all with your partner. Who knows before too long she may be asking for you help with some insertions ;)
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