Tuesday, April 8, 2008

More Socially Acceptable (or Unacceptable) Behavior

Let me clarify something on the whole Mohawk issue. It’s not a question of IF I’m going to let him have a Mohawk. We’re letting him get a Mohawk for the summer. I don’t have a problem with it at all.

My whole point for the previous post (that Chuck has informed me didn’t come through) is whether I should beat the living shit talk sternly to those people (i.e. my father) who decide they are going to give Zachary a rough time for having it or whether I’m going to let Zachary take the heat for his choice.

Because my father WILL give him a rough time about it.

But, see, I’m not one necessarily to shy away from touchy subjects with my father and most of my family (unless it refers to how they will sometimes make me feel like shit. I don’t typically discuss feelings with them.) I grew up with a father who was extremely overbearing, overprotective and just an all-around jackass (whom I love dearly, mind you.) At the age of 14, he would measure my hair before I left the house to make sure I didn’t get more than 2” cut off. He would make me change my clothes if my shirt bottom touched the top of my jeans and didn’t fall below my beltline as no daughter of his would go out “dressed like a whore”. I wasn’t allowed to get my ears pierced.

So, at the age of 17, I pierced my ears. I hid it for all of about 1 day. At 18, I chopped my hair off up to my chin from below my shoulders. Obviously, there was no hiding that. My mom, and more than likely my father (as we’ve never discussed it…he gets embarrassed because I’m too open as I know it’s the ONLY way to shut him up), know about my nipple rings (yes, 2. Although I no longer have one as it migrated out after about 4 years of having it. Ouch!) I’ve been very upfront with my family about getting my tattoo, which my mom doesn’t approve of, but she likes the symbolism behind it. When Chuck and I were dating, I would spend my weekends out there. My mom questioned me one time about how they want me to work/sleep in the cabins with the kids. I explained that I wouldn’t be sleeping in the cabins, but with Chuck. She asked cautiously “on his couch?”, to which I replied “No, Mom, in his bed.” That was the end of that. Then about 7 months later, I let them know that we would be moving in together. Again, not pleased, but they know me well enough to know that it doesn’t matter to me, I’m going to do what I want regardless.

Zachary takes after me in a lot of ways. His stubbornness and tendency towards defiance is 100% me. How did I end up being cursed in having all 3 children Tauruses?!

(Disclaimer: Those that know me really well know that there are things that I don’t advertise about my life. However, if asked, I would more than likely answer any question.)

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On the subject of socially unacceptable behavior, we have had our first shoplifting experience with Lucas today.

We went to the Chinese buffet today for lunch (I was absolutely exhausted after moving their entire bedroom around (metal bunkbeds are freaking heavy!) so I asked Chuck if we could do lunch out. Upon paying, Lucas kept asking for a toy. I told him no and figured that was the end of that. As we were piling into the jeep, I noticed he was playing with an orange ring. I asked him where’d he’d gotten that, knowing full well that he had not had that BEFORE we went in. He told us that he’d taken it off the counter. So, Chuck trucked Lucas’s little butt back into the restaurant to return the stolen goods. After returning it and apologizing, the person behind the counter was very nice and let Lucas know it wasn’t a big deal; no worries, honey.

I find that frustrating in some ways. While I don’t necessarily think they should call the cops, it would be nice to have them read the kid the riot act. Letting them know it’s not acceptable, or nice, or something.

Funnily, Zachary was almost his exact same age when he did it and has never done it since. When I trucked Zachary’s little butt into the gas station and made him return his candy and apologize for taking it, with him sobbing the entire time, the gentleman behind the counter did tell Zachary that it wasn’t nice to steal and that some people get the cops called on them for that, but thank you for stepping up and returning it. I loved how that clerk handled it. And Zachary has never done it since.

Let’s hope this is the first and last time for Lucas too.

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