My Husband Rocks!!

I started reading this other blog called Love, Actually. I….well, I…..Love it. Sorry to be so cliché.

But Cher has such cool ideas for rocking the romance in your relationship and doing it on a budget at the same time. (and I’m not talking the sexual side of it…I can take care of that.) Go on…check it out and tell me that you’re not inspired to do something simply romantic for your significant other.

Anyway, she does a post on Fridays called “MHR: My Husband Rocks” Fridays. (It was actually started by someone else, but I read about it on Cher’s blog, so I’ll give her the credit.) Oftentimes, we don’t tell the most important person in our lives how incredibly much we appreciate them…I know I don’t. Just ask Chuck, he’ll tell you.

But, my husband does rock. Here’s the reasons he rocks this week:
**Last night he made hamburgers on the grill…with grilled buns!...and put worchestershire sauce in the meat because he knows I love it like that. He made the burgers because I said how incredibly good it sounded since the weather is getting warmer.

**After dinner, he got the kids to pick up the yard while I took care of the paperwork side of my party tonight, and then took us in the big truck to get ice cream.

**He’s watching the kids tonight while I go do a Pure Romance party for a good friend of mine. And will finish wrapping a couple of the presents for the kids’ birthday party tomorrow.

**Chuck will be a hands-on dad tomorrow at the birthday party and help with every aspect of it, because that’s just how he rolls.

**He buys me Mt. Dew at the store without me having to ask him to do it. (I’m surprised at how many husbands will go to the store for something and not even ASK their wives if they want something…or just know to bring back their fave pop or snack!)

**Chuck has come up and seen me on his break every day this week. And even after 12 years of being together, I still feel that flutter of excitement in my chest when I see him standing behind me.

I love you babe. Even if you don’t ever comment on my blog. ;)

If you love your significant other, spread the word…do a MHR post and leave me a comment so I can come and read your reasons! v

PMS and Integrative Medicine (Part II): Botanicals

Chastetree, Black cohosh, Ginkgo biloba and Evening primrose are the most commonly used botanicals to treat premenstrual syndrome in the United States. Of those listed, Chastetree has been the most widely studied.

Some of the descriptions below refer to "The German Commission E". The German Commission E Monographs are a therapeutic guide to herbal medicine. There is an English translation by the American Botanical Council, with 380 monographs evaluating the safety and efficacy of herbs for licensed medical prescribing in Germany. Though the German Commission no longer exists, in Germany only those herbs with Commission E approved status are legally available.
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Chastetree Berry (Vitex agnus-castus) is the dried ripe fruit of the chaste tree. In a number of well conducted studies chastetree berry has been effective in reducing PMS symptoms, especially breast discomfort, when compared to placebo. The German Commission E has approved the use of chastetree berry for irregularities of the menstrual cycle, premenstrual symptoms and breast pain.

Chastree is considered safe. Possible side effects are mild and reversible. They include mild headache, diarrhea, abdominal cramps, decreased appetite, rash and itching. Possible drug interactions could include anti-psychotics, some antidepressants and estrogen-containing compounds. However all potential drug interactions are theoretical.

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Black Cohosh (Actaea racemosa) was used by American indigenous peoples for the treatment of respiratory complaints, muscuoskeletal pain and to aid in childbirth. It was most likely used for its anti-inflammatory and muscle relaxant properties.

Compounds in black cohosh bind to the 5-HT7 (serotonin) receptor which may explain its positive effect on depressive and anxiety symptoms in PMS. A study published by Dittmar in 1992 demonstrated a reduction of the PMS symptoms including anxiety, tension and depression. A number of studies show a benefit for various menopausal symptoms such as hot flashes, profuse sweating, sleep disturbance and depressed moods. Because these symptoms often exist in those suffering from PMS, many clinicians have recommended the use of black cohosh in this population, too. Black cohosh is approved by the German Commission E for use in women suffering from premenstrual symptoms, painful menstruation (i.e. dysmenorrhea) and menopause.

Side effects and drug interactions: Black cohosh is generally safe and well tolerated when used for 6 months; and has not been well-studied beyond 6 months duration. Caution should be exercised as there have been multiple case reports of liver damage while using black cohosh. As stated above, Black Cohosh has been studied as a therapy for menopausal symptoms, not PMS. At this time that there is insufficient evidence to support or refute the use of black cohosh for PMS.
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Ginkgo (Ginkgo biloba): Ginkgo is commonly used to sharpen mental focus and improve circulation. One well-done study suggests the ginkgo is more effective in decreasing psychological and congestive symptoms ( e.g. breast pain, breast tenderness and fluid retention) than placebo in PMS sufferers. More studies need to be conducted before strong recommendations can be made to support or refute the use of ginkgo for PMS.

Ginkgo is generally well tolerated and considered safe with similar side effect rates as placebo in several reviews. Ginkgo is thought to have a blood-thinning effect. Therefore, possible drug interactions can occur with anti-coagulants such as warfarin and aspirin.
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Evening Primrose Oil (Oenothera biennis): A systematic review of the literature published in 1996 included seven studies. Unfortunately, none of the studies found a beneficial effect of evening primrose oil for PMS symptoms; this included two well-designed, randomized, placebo-controlled trials that were adequately powered.

Potential side effects include headache, seizures among people with seizure disorder or taking anesthetics, nausea, vomiting, anorexia, diarrhea, hypersensitivity reactions, rash, inflammation and immunosuppression with long-term use. Possible drug interactions include anticoagulants, phenothiazines and other anti-seizure medication. In lite of the currently available information, EPO is not a recommended treatment for PMS.

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Other biologically based therapies: St. John’s Wort (Hypericum perforatum) is primarily used to alleviate depressive symptoms. Kava (Piper methysticum) has been proven effective for treating anxiety, though has a questionable safety profile. Valerian (Valeriana officinalis) is a common over-the-counter ingredient for sleep preparations and relaxants. Don Quai (Angelica sinensis) as a tonic for women with fatigue and low vitality. None have yet been adequately studied for the treatment of PMS.

References:
1. Daniele C, et al. Vitex agnus castus: a systematic review of adverse events. Drug Saf
2. Dittmar FW, et al. Premenstrual syndrome: treatment with a phytopharmaceutical. Therapiwoche Gynakol 1992;5:60-8.
3. Budeiri, D, Li Wan Po A, Doman JC. Is evening primrose oil of value in the treatment of premenstrual syndrome? Control Clin Trials 1996;17:60-8.
4. Tamborini A, Taurelle R. Value of standardized Ginkgo biloba extract (EGb 761) in the management of congestive symptoms of premenstrual syndrome. Rev Fr Gynecol Obstet
5. Blumental M, et al., eds. The Complete German Commission E Monographs: Therapeutic Guide to Herbal Medicines. Austin: American Botanical Council and Boston: Integrative Medicine communications, 1998.
2005;28(4):319-32. 1993;88:447-57

My VERY FIRST (of many to come) GIVEAWAY!

So, according to my Pure Romance organizer, May is National Masturbation Month!

Now, I know that a lot of people don’t feel comfortable talking about self-pleasuring; however, I’d like to challenge that taboo. Especially for women.

Patty Brisben has a really good question/answer section on the Pure Romance website and one of the questions was about not reaching orgasm with her partner (do you ever have that problem?) Her answer was excellent!

The first thing that I recommend is that you take the time to explore your own body. Spend some time alone exploring yourself, find what areas bring you pleasurable sensations, as well as learn which areas bring you to orgasm when stimulated. Once you have a greater understanding of your ‘hot spots’ you can share what you learned with your boyfriend. Orgasm is as much mental as it is a physical response and we have found that sometimes women pressure themselves too much to reach orgasm in the presence of their partners. I promise that you will benefit tremendously by figuring things out on your own and then integrating what you learn when you are with your boyfriend.

This goes for men as well, in my opinion. If we are able to know what we like sexually we will be better equipped to talk to our partners and make sex more explosive.

So in celebration of National Masturbation Month, I am giving away a Silver Bullet and a 4 oz bottle of Just Like Me. That’s $28.50 for FREE folks! The silver bullet is an awesome toy for those beginning to understand themselves or a nice stand-by for those more seasoned women. It vibrates. It’s small. It’s not penis-shaped (let’s face it sometimes that scares men and women away). It can be used by yourself for some fun one-on-one time, but can be used with your partner for a little extra stimulation during your romp through the sheets. The Just Like Me is just what it says. It’s a lube that is just like you!! Ever use lube and go away feeling…..icky? Or have to continue to use more and more lube because it seems to dry up? This lube is just like the sexual juices that your body naturally makes…so no sticky feeling, no re-adding lube (because a little bit of saliva re-activates it!), no unnatural smells, and best of all….great lubrication so you can enjoy yourself!!

So, you want to be entered? Leave me a comment with your favorite Pure Romance product. Don’t have a favorite yet? Go to my website (there's monthly specials listed there too!) and find something that you’d love to try! (Remember…Pure Romance isn’t all toys with motion!! There are wonderful bath and beauty products and sexy lingerie as well!)

Want a second entry? Write a blog piece about this giveaway or link back to this piece from your blog and leave me a comment that you’ve done so. I’ll enter you a second time!!

Winner will be drawn on May 31st!!

Mean ol' momma

Two years ago we struggled daily (who am I kidding?) multiple times a day with Lucas and/or Zachary and their behavior.

Parts of their behavior was because I was tired and had a very short fuse due to living on 4 ½ hours of sleep daily, part of Zachary’s behavioral issues were the ADHD/bipolar which we are close to having a good handle on.

Part of the behavioral issues was ineffective parenting.

Last year, we went through a really rough time with both Lucas and Zachary and we started seeing a therapist. For myself, Lucas and Zachary, separately and also had family sessions. Nothing in this world could have helped us more.

In fact, I just called Dr. Frank today to see if we can get in before June 2 as Zachary is having more and more difficulty in school and at home, yet again. (Today he got sent home from school for throwing his journal at his teacher. *sigh*) Dr. Frank has helped us with different areas of parenting as well as helping Zachary to understand things on his level. Last fall, Zachary went to group therapy once a week where they worked on things like transitioning to another topic, listening to the person speaking and taking turns while talking, not always having to be first in line, eye contact, etc. Which probably sound like normal every day occurrences for most people, but for kids like Zachary….not so much.

He’s not first in line? Throws his WHOLE day off. Sometimes. Depending on the mood. And that’s the frustrating part.

Anyway, I got side-tracked.

Chaos seems to reign in our house…and chaos is NOT good for Zachary…or for Chuck for that matter who deals with the same issues as Zachary does. One of the things that we’ve tried hard to work on is routine. Having a schedule and routine and sticking to it. That seems to help everyone. (Schedule and routine has been thrown out of whack due to soccer and the days getting longer.)

Having a tidier house so people do not feel overwhelmed. (Not so tidy right now.)

But we’ve also taken a look at our discipline and after going over all the array of types of discipline we used and not finding anything that really worked for us we’ve found something that does…most of the time. And for now, that’s all that we can hope for.

So, I’ll tell you our secret…and hope that maybe it helps you with any behavioral issues. But I warn you...I'm the mean ol' momma....just ask my kids. (or take a look at the tantrum from Miss Elizabeth).

Everything in our house is a privilege. You earn it. Just as I earn the right to live in my house through working and paying the mortgage, the kids earn their things through good behavior and chores.

And things have never been better in the house. That’s not to say we don’t have glitches…we obviously do. But it’s much better than before.

What’s nice about this? It’s predictable. The kids know what has to be done and how they must behave in order to earn their game time, t.v. time, the privilege of eating dinner as a family, everything.

So, in order to earn game time, Zachary must have good behavior at school. He gets daily reports sent home with 8 different questions on them in which he can earn up to 8 yeses. He gets 5 minutes of game time per yes. However, he cannot get that game time until his homework is completed (correctly) for the day.

In order to earn t.v. time, the kids must clean their respective rooms (Zachary cleans the bedroom and Lucas cleans the living room and then they switch the next night). They must be cleaned in 30 minutes, which we set on a timer, in order to receive 30 minutes of t.v. time as a family in the evening before bed. This has drastically reduced the amount of yelling, arguing, crying, and ranting about clean up time to nil because we do not nag them during this time.

If they’d like to sit at the table with the family, they must have appropriate table manners. Otherwise, they are asked to leave until they can have the appropriate manners or they can eat after we’re all done.

We work on a two-time rule…and trust me…it’s hard sometimes to not scream and yell at them to “just do it!!” but it does help the kids to do things without getting my hackles up. How does the two-time rule work? It’s easy….I ask them to do something. They choose not to. I say “This is the second and last time I’m asking you to…….*insert whatever you asked them to do*”. If they still choose not to do it, then I instruct them to head on out to their quiet spot until they are ready to do whatever I asked. This is similar to a time-out…but I don’t give them a specific amount of time. If after 30 seconds, they are ready to do as I asked, FANTASTIC. If it takes them 1 hour to do as I ask…that’s their choice. And then we ignore them. Yes. We ignore our children until they are ready to follow the directions.

One of the things that we stress to the kids is this is their choice. It’s no longer us yelling at them to do things. It’s their choice to do things as we ask and they then receive the consequence of not getting the privilege of game time, t.v. time, free time, whatever if they choose not to.

It’s worked. Things changed. Now we just need to regroup and get back to that point.

Salmon Update – More Reasons to Avoid Farm Raised Fish

Here's some more reasons to avoid farmed fish, particularly salmon. This information comes from an article in the May 2009 issue of BestLife magazine. I have previously described how one of the best sources of Omega 3 fatty acids is fish from cold water, particularly salmon. However, this salmon has to be wild, not farm raised. When raised on a farm, the fish do not eat the same diet as in the wild, they are often fed grains. While you will find statements that farm raised salmon is a good source of Omega 3’s, which is true, it also contains a significant amount of Omega 6’s from the food it is fed. Therefore, when we eat it, we are not doing anything to improve our Omega 3 to Omega 6 ratio which is the reason we are eating these foods. In addition, farm raised salmon (branded as Atlantic Salmon) is naturally grey in color. How come it looks pink in the store? It is injected with a pink food dye. And, that is on the label!

Here’s the new information. The salmon farms are often placed near natural outlets for the wild salmon. The farms have many bright lights which attract young wild salmon. These are eaten by the larger Atlantic farmed salmon which see them as a different species. As a result the natural populations of wild salmon are being greatly reduced and in some places disappearing entirely. With millions of salmon in a central, yet still accessible location natural predators such as eagles and whales, as well as seals and sea lions are attracted to the site. Farmers are given permits to kill the seals and sea lions, obviously negatively impacting those populations. And, with all these salmon in one place there is also an issue with waste disposal. The salmon feces mix with the uneaten food pellets to make the ocean floor uninhabitable for shrimp and other small fish. Last but not least – sea lice. Salmon farms attract sea lice which infect both the farmed and the nearby wild ones who just happen to be passing through! The farmed ones are treated with antibiotics to kill the sea lice. Guess where the traces of the antibiotics, as well as the fungicides, pesticides, and all the other chemicals used in raising the salmon and the manufacturing the pellets winds up? I think you know that answer.

In summary, not only are the farmed raised salmon not healthy for you, they are also unhealthy to the environment and to wild salmon. The wild salmon population is under threat as is your right to healthy and nourishing foods. So, when you are eating out and think you are getting something healthy when you order salmon, ask to make sure it is wild salmon, and make sure it is cooked thoroughly to avoid potential parasites.

Bernard Rosen, PhD is a Nutrition Consultant and Educator. He works with individuals, groups, and at corporations to create individualized nutrition and wellness programs. He is an expert in the field of Nutrition and Erectile Dysfunction. His office is in Thiensville, WI. To learn more or to schedule an appointment, e-mail at bernie@brwellness.com, call (262) 389-9907 or go to www.brwellness.com.

Healthy Oils for Cooking

6 good-for-you choices that'll add health and flavor to your cooking.

Most women know they need some fat in their diet. "But moderation is key — all oils have about 120 calories and 14 grams of fat per tablespoon," says nutritionist Ellie Krieger, R.D., host of Healthy Appetite on the Food Network. She suggests sticking to about two teaspoons of added fat per meal — and cooking with a variety of oils, since they all offer different body benefits. Here are some of the best kinds, plus delicious ways to get them in your diet.

Olive Oil
Why it's healthy: Of all the oils, olive has the highest amount of heart-protective monounsaturated fats and polyphenols — antioxidants that have anti-inflammatory and anticlotting properties. It's also a staple of the Mediterranean diet, which has been shown to lower your risk of heart disease, lengthen your life, reduce your odds of cancer and diabetes, and help you lose weight. Newly pressed extra-virgin olive oil contains oleocanthal, a compound that acts similar to ibuprofen, according to a recent University of Pennsylvania study. Researchers say that a diet rich in olive oil may have pain-relieving and heart-health benefits similar to those of taking a low-dose baby aspirin every day.

What it's best for: Let extra-virgin olive oil's strong flavor shine though in salad dressings, on bread, or atop grilled meats, fish, and veggies. And (surprise!) you can fry or sauté with olive oil too! Frying isn't as unhealthy as you may think: "When you fry a food in olive oil that's heated to about 350 degrees F, a crust will form and your food will absorb less oil," says Nicki Heverling, R.D., program manager for the Mediterranean Foods Alliance. Just know that extra-virgin olive oil has a smoke point of about 385 degrees F to 420 degrees F — so keep an eye on the heat or else the oil will burn and splatter.

The skinny on olive oil: Choosing an olive oil can be confusing. Here, Heverling explains how to pick the best bottle.

Always choose extra-virgin. It's made from the first pressing of olives, so it has the most antioxidants and flavor. Look for an oil that's cold-pressed, meaning no heat was used during the processing. Think that's too pricey? Opt for an inexpensive extra-virgin olive oil for cooking, then splurge on a high-quality, unfiltered one for drizzling and dipping. "This adds amazing flavor and health to your food — it's worth every penny," says Heverling.

Go imported. Spain, Italy, and Greece are the biggest olive oil producers, and their strict quality standards mean you'll get a better product. Look for the words product of (as in "product of Italy") to guarantee that the oil comes from that country.

Buy dark-colored bottles. And keep them in a dark, cool place, since light and heat can turn oil rancid. Olive oil is best used within six months but can last for two years if stored properly.

Canola Oil
Why it's healthy: Canola oil contains the lowest levels of unhealthful saturated fats of any oil, and it's also a good source of alpha-linolenic acid, a heart-healthy omega-3 fatty acid. The FDA recently approved canola oil products to carry the health claim that it may reduce the risk of coronary heart disease. Substituting it for other vegetable oils, and canola oil — based spreads for margarine, can significantly reduce the amount of saturated fats in your diet, according to a recent study.

What it's best for: Mild-flavored canola oil is the cheapest option for sautéing and frying, and it also works well as a shortening or butter substitute in baked goods.

Peanut and Sesame Oils
Why they're healthy: Consuming a diet rich in peanuts, peanut butter, and peanut oil may be as effective in protecting against heart disease as an olive oil-rich diet, according to a Penn State study. Peanuts contain resveratrol, an antioxidant also found in wine that has been associated with a reduced risk of cancer and heart disease. Sesame oil is a good source of vitamin E, magnesium, copper, calcium, iron, and vitamin B. It also contains sesamin and sesamolin, substances that have been shown to lower cholesterol and protect the liver.

What they're best for: These oils have a high smoke point, so they work best for stir-fries. Peanut oil has a bland, nutty flavor, making it an ideal choice in dishes featuring nuts or when you want other flavors in a recipe to shine. Sesame oil has a strong, distinctive taste. "I finish Asian dishes with a splash of toasted sesame oil," says Krieger.

Walnut and Flaxseed Oils
Why they're healthy: Both oils are high in omega-3 fatty acids. In fact, flaxseed has the highest concentration of omega-3s of all non-fish foods, and it also contains lignans, chemicals that may play a role in preventing cancer.

What they're best for: Their delicate flavor makes them ideal for no-cook items such as salad dressings and fruit smoothies; walnut oil can also be used for baking. Both oils must be refrigerated and used within a few months.

Originally published WebMD 9/9/2008

by Nicole De Coursy

Using and Abusing Grandparents

I think sometimes that I should have been born in an earlier generation. Or maybe it’s just because I was brought up in an “old-fashioned” household where Mom was a stay-at-home mom and Dad was the breadwinner. And family and friends were all one and we saw our grandparents with our parents often.

So this new generation of expecting the grandparents to be babysitters/daycare is completely beyond my realm of thinking. And quite frankly, I thank the Lord for that.

I am of the belief that grandparents should be just that. Grandparents. They shouldn’t have the responsibility of disciplining the children; they should be allowed to indulge them with the little things that grandparents do.

Like jelly beans from the jelly bean jar.

Or the occasional sneaked cookie from the cookie jar before dinner.

Or taking them out to dinner and a movie for a treat.

Or letting them stay up later than normal to finish the movie on the rare occasion that they sleep over.

Grandparents shouldn’t be a second set of parents.

We ask my parents to watch our children overnight once, maybe twice, a year. Usually for our anniversary my mom and dad will take all the kids and watch them for us so that Chuck and I can have a nice evening out to ourselves, get a hotel, relax and have a few drinks without having to worry about getting up at the butt-crack of dawn 7:00 am with the kids. They will also watch the kids for a few hours about 5-6 times a year when we visit friends in my hometown (which is where my mom and dad still live).

As the kids get a little bit older, they will probably start going on a one-on-one basis to spend the night with Grandma and Grandpa to have some alone time and do fun Grandma and Grandpa things like camping, checkers, Uno, eating pizza and bologna and cheese and crackers. Zachary did this last year with his grandma and grandpa and while it was an extraordinarily chaotic weekend, he did have fun.

And that, to me, is what being with Grandma and Grandpa should be about. I never want to put my parents or Chuck’s parents into the position of being the bad guy. Now, that’s not to say that my parents haven’t had to speak to my kids about their behavior while they are staying with them, but it’s not that often of an occurance. Usually, when we are at Grandma and Grandpa’s house, Chuck and I are there too and WE are the bad guys and get to tell them no. And Grandpa and Grandma get to do the fun things with them. As it should be.

Now, I know I will hear a lot of flack about this and how my kids will never get to truly have a relationship with their grandparents if not left alone.

I say that’s complete bunk.

You would never see my kids with their grandma and grandpa and think that they don’t have a fantastic, loving, understanding, fun relationship with them. My kids lurve their grandparents. We go camping with my family at least 4 times a summer where they get to go fishing with Grandpa and play cards with Grandma. We see Chuck’s family about every 6 weeks and spend the weekend with them where the kids help Grandma with her weeding or other garden chores and play computer games with Grandpa. And that’s as it should be.

Both of our parents (minus Chuck’s dad who is disabled) still work full-time. They are busy with their work, volunteer work, hobbies, etc. They have raised their children. And I like to think that they raised their children to be responsible adults. I don’t feel that they need to be put into a position where they are helping to raise mine.

I feel fortunate though, because I know if I *need* that help, they’ll be there for me. And for that I am ever grateful.