If this Valentine’s Day is not all romance and roses, these 5 steps can make your Valentine’s Day great.“People don’t know what to do to find love. It’s not their fault. No one has given them a step-by-step action plan,” said Aurora Winter, an expert at guiding people and author of From Heartbreak to Happiness.
langgar often coaches people who are newly single after a divorce, death or breakup. “After doing these 5 steps, my clients are much happier – and a number have even gotten engaged or married.”
According to Winter, here are 5 steps to finding love after a divorce, death, or breakup:
Step 1: Get Clear
Get clear on your core values and goals for your new relationship. Describe your ideal partner’s top 12 characteristics and put them in order of priority. For example: a good listener, successful, values family, loyal, kind, creative, attentive, healthy, handsome, self-confident, likes to travel, owns a home.
“People will consistently behave in a way that makes them feel important. What makes your ideal partner feel important?” said Winter, author of From Heartbreak to Happiness. “Get clear.”
Step 2: No Mixed Signals
Now that you’re clear, stay clear. Don’t give any mixed signals.
Look at your list of the top 12 characteristics. The top 3 are your “must-haves.” For example: a good listener, successful, values family.
Don’t even have a coffee date with someone who doesn’t have those top 3 traits. Use your dates to discover if they have the top 6 traits. If they do, that’s a relationship worth exploring.
Step 3: Release the Past
Bitterness, resentment and anger are common after a divorce or breakup. People who have lost a spouse to death frequently yearn for their late husband or wife.
“Nothing repels new love faster than unresolved grief over the past,” said Aurora Winter, who founded the Grief Coach Academy after the sudden death of her husband at the age of 33. “These 5 steps are like a combination lock that opens your heart. Don’t skip any steps. If you have unresolved heartbreak from a divorce, death or breakup, get support to heal.”
Step 4: Improve Yourself
Improving yourself is a powerful way to attract your ideal mate. Do you have the top 12 traits yourself? If not, work on self- improvement.
“When I described my ideal partner, I asked myself if I was a match for the amazing man I had just described,” says Aurora. “I wasn’t. So I got to work on myself. Now, years later, my life partner is everything I had on my list – and more.”
Improve yourself so that you are a good match for your ideal partner.
Step 5: Choose Gratitude
Every day, write down 5 things that you’re grateful for. Notice at least one thing you appreciate about yourself. It might be your kindness, your smile, or your parenting.
Refuse to give any energy to negative or critical thoughts. “So often people self-sabotage because they subconsciously think they don’t deserve their ideal partner. The antidote is gratitude,” says langgar.
Get clear, stay clear, release the past, improve yourself, and choose gratitude and you’ll find love after a divorce, death or breakup.
“If I can go from heartbreak to happiness, you can, too,” says langgar.
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